Just because I'm nice to you doesn't mean I forgive you. Just because I'm not screaming and yelling, that doesn't mean I'm not angry. Just because I don't weep, that doesn't mean I'm not hurt. And just because you think you're in the clear, doesn't mean I won't eventually exact my revenge. You don't know when, where, or how, but I will. And I'm thinking that I'm well on my way, because I will be beautiful again soon. I will have my body back. I will be healthy again. You will look at me and want me, or want to be me, or maybe, hate me, in 81 more days. :)
Today was day 9. I wanted to do my Cardio X before I went to work today, but I couldn't do it. I set my alarm for 6, and I tried, but I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. So, I reset the alarm for 7, and I went to work. I worried all day that I wouldn't be in the mood to do it when I got home. I worried I would be too tired, or my legs and feet would hurt too badly, that I wouldn't have the energy. But, I came home, changed clothes, and did Cardio X. I did it. I did it. I did it. I poured sweat, and my kicks weren't as high at the end as they were in the beginning, and my legs weren't as straight as they should have been during superman-banana, but I DID IT. And I will do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And everyday, until I have my body back. People tell me all the time how young I look, how my face looks like I'm in my early 20's. Well, baby, guess what? My body will look like a teenagers before I'm done! Ok, so maybe not a teenager. Maybe a mid-20 something. A mid-20 something that has had 4 kids. And been stretch-marked. And scarred. And probably kinda floppy. But, damnit, I will get there!!!!
Breakfast today was a blender of pineapple, ice and blueberries again. Lunch was a big plum and some dried apricots. Dinner was an adventure. :) Dinner consisted of fresh market broccoli, baby spinach, onion, pumpkin seeds, soy beans, flax seeds, olive oil, sherry, tofu, mrs. dash, and soy sauce all tossed into the electrics skillet and stir-fried. It was actually not-bad. Nevada, my youngest at 13, commented that the meant was undercooked. I didn't correct him. Then he asked if he could add salt. After adding a little salt, he ate about half the bowl before walking into the kitchen and adding a slice of cheese to the mixture. Yuck! But he at it all. his biggest complaint was there were too many seeds. Once he finished and had his bowl rinsed and loaded, I called him back into the dining room. The conversation went like this:
Me: You didn't ask me what kind of meat that was.
Nevada: I know. I just assumed it was chicken.
Me. Did it taste like chicken?
Nevada: Not really. Don't tell me, mom. I don't want to know.
Me: ok.
Nevada: No, tell me. It wasn't what I think it was, was it? I'm going to go throw up.
Me: (barely stifling a laugh) What do you think it was?
Nevada: Fish? Tuna?
Me: No. It was not an animal of any kind.
Nevada: Oh, no. I HATE TOFU!
Me: How do you know you hate it? You've never had it before.
Nevada: I just did. And I hated it!
Me: You ate all of it.
Nevada: Oh. I did. Yeah, well, I still hate it.
And he walks out of the room. I am still laughing. Happy New Years, everyone. I hope your 2011 is as successful as your 2010. How do I know if your 2010 was successful, you ask? Well, you lived through it, as is evident by the fact that you are reading this post. I think living through it makes it a success. I know it does for me. Namaste, Readers. And be safe.
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